My Boyfriend Still Talks To His Ex Should I Be Worried?

Important Things To Do When Your Boyfriend Contacts His Ex!

1. Follow up on social media..

Yes, I am suggesting ethical snooping.

2. Do not give him an ultimatum..

Under no circumstances, should you give him an ultimatum. Things like, “Never talk to her again” or “Are you sure you want to keep talking to her even when it makes me uncomfortable?”

will do more harm than good. For him, it might come across as demanding and you are telling him the people he can talk to and to whom he cannot.

You are his girlfriend, not the mother of a 14-year-old teenager.

3. Address the Situation Openly..

Don’t hide the fact that you’re bothered or insecure.

This doesn’t mean that you should blame your boyfriend for feelings of jealousy that you might have.

This simply means that you should acknowledge them.

Communicate your fears to your boyfriend. If he doesn’t seem to care or acts really defensive about it, then maybe you should press him for more details.

4. Figure Out Why He Is Talking to His Ex..

Some people can genuinely be “just friends” . Maybe they started dating, realized their feelings were mostly platonic, and decided to remain friends.

This is the ideal situation if your boyfriend is still talking to his ex: they are basically close friends who have no romantic feelings whatsoever.

There’s little to be jealous about if their relationship was short-lived and not very fiery.

Even better, if your boyfriend’s ex turned out to be gay (or straight, if you’re gay) and that’s why their relationship ended, then there’s not as much of a chance that something inappropriate is happening between them.

On the other hand, there’s more reason to be suspicious if there’s no conceivable reason that they’re still talking.

For example, let’s say that your boyfriend and his ex had a purely physical relationship and went through an explosive breakup.

Furthermore, they were never very good friends in the first place. Why would they still be talking?

How long have your boyfriend and his ex been apart?

5. Consider How Long Your Boyfriend and His Ex Have Been Apart..

Did they break up like a million years ago, before you even met each other? In that case, maybe the fire between them has cooled off enough that they can legitimately be friends without any drama.

On the other, hand, did they break up just last month? Did they break up because of you?

If it’s only been a few weeks and your boyfriend is already talking to his ex, this might be something that you’ll want to calmly address with him.

6. Take Some Time to Think (and Cool Down)..

Even if you find information that you don’t like while probing your boyfriend about the situation, take some time to be by yourself and think about what’s going on.

Before you react, reflect on what your rational response should be.

Remember that if your reaction is based on insecurity, you may do irreparable damage to your relationship.

You might unwittingly send the message to your boyfriend that you don’t trust him. How will he react to that? Is he really doing anything wrong? Think carefully about what you’ve learned and the best way to proceed.

Obviously, if you’ve discovered that your boyfriend is sending naked pictures to his ex or something like that, there’s less to think about.

In unambiguous situations like those, you might just want to kick the guy to the curb.