My Boyfriend Still Talks To His Ex Should I Be Worried?

Why He Still Talks To His Ex-Girlfriend!

Follow up on social media. Yes, I am suggesting ethical snooping. Do not give him an ultimatum.

Under no circumstances, should you give him an ultimatum. Things like, “Never talk to her again” or “Are you sure you want to keep talking to her even when it makes me uncomfortable?”

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will do more harm than good. For him, it might come across as demanding and you are telling him the people he can talk to and to whom he cannot.

You are his girlfriend, not the mother of a 14-year-old teenager.

Address the Situation Openly.

Don’t hide the fact that you’re bothered or insecure.

This doesn’t mean that you should blame your boyfriend for feelings of jealousy that you might have.

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This simply means that you should acknowledge them.

Communicate your fears to your boyfriend. If he doesn’t seem to care or acts really defensive about it, then maybe you should press him for more details.

Figure Out Why He Is Talking to His Ex.

Some people can genuinely be “just friends” . Maybe they started dating, realized their feelings were mostly platonic and decided to remain friends.

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This is the ideal situation if your boyfriend is still talking to his ex: they are basically close friends who have no romantic feelings whatsoever.

There’s little to be jealous about if their relationship was short-lived and not very fiery.

Even better, if your boyfriend’s ex turned out to be gay (or straight, if you’re gay) and that’s why their relationship ended, then there’s not as much of a chance that something inappropriate is happening between them.

On the other hand, there’s more reason to be suspicious if there’s no conceivable reason that they’re still talking.

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For example, let’s say that your boyfriend and his ex had a purely physical relationship and went through an explosive breakup.

Furthermore, they were never very good friends in the first place. Why would they still be talking?

How long have your boyfriend and his ex been apart?

How long have your boyfriend and his ex been apart?

Consider How Long Your Boyfriend and His Ex Have Been Apart.

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Did they break up like a million years ago, before you even met each other? In that case, maybe the fire between them has cooled off enough that they can legitimately be friends without any drama.

On the other, hand, did they break up just last month? Did they break up because of you?

If it’s only been a few weeks and your boyfriend is already talking to his ex, this might be something that you’ll want to calmly address with him.

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Take Some Time to Think (and Cool Down).

Even if you find information that you don’t like while probing your boyfriend about the situation, take some time to be by yourself and think about what’s going on.

Before you react, reflect on what your rational response should be.

Remember that if your reaction is based on insecurity, you may do irreparable damage to your relationship.

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You might unwittingly send the message to your boyfriend that you don’t trust him. How will he react to that? Is he really doing anything wrong? Think carefully about what you’ve learned and the best way to proceed.

Obviously, if you’ve discovered that your boyfriend is sending naked pictures to his ex or something like that, there’s less to think about.

In unambiguous situations like those, you might just want to kick the guy to the curb.

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Not only does he still talk about his ex, but everything he says about her sounds resentful — a huge sign that he’s not over the relationship! You can tell a lot about a guy by the way he talks about a past girlfriend.

If he says something like, “I don’t think she ever really loved me,” he’s still hurt by how the relationship ended and most definitely not over it. He’s talking about his ex because he’s still thinking about his ex — could he be any more obvious?

Not only have you not met his family, but they also may not even know you exist. If his mom calls when you two are together and he doesn’t mention you even though you’re literally sitting only inches away from him then his family knows nothing about you.

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If he isn’t telling his parents about you, it’s because he knows deep down that you aren’t going to be around long. Ouch!

Is the relationship more physical than emotional? Go ahead and take that as a sign. You can tell that you’re a rebound just by paying attention to your sex life. If the sex feels detached and consumes a good majority of the relationship, it’s rebound sex.

Now, don’t mistake zero inhibitions sex for rebound sex — they can both be wild and intense, but only one of them helps someone forget about their ex (at least for a few minutes… maybe even seconds).

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If a guy is really interested in you, he’ll make plans for the future. He may not be getting down on one knee proposing, but he’ll say small things that will make you know he’s not planning on breaking up with you next week.
If he isn’t talking about the future, it’s because he’s not that serious about you. He knows that you’re temporary and he’s treating you as such — wake up and smell the a-hole in the room!

He may not outright compare you to his ex, but you feel like he’s secretly judging. It’s like if you do something his ex wouldn’t do, he automatically thinks less of you.

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He may even throw out suggestions for how you should live your life. Interestingly enough, those suggestions relate directly back to his ex. If you feel like he’s replacing you with his ex-girlfriend, it’s because he is.

If you’ve met his friends, which is a big IF, they may be surprised that you two are dating. If they say something like, “Wow, I can’t believe he’s already dating,” or, “It’s good that he found you, his ex really did a number on him” — pause. It’s a sure sign that he’s not actually ready for a relationship.

He may think he is, but he isn’t! If his friends are questioning the relationship, it’s because they know something you don’t.

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Did his ex break up with him? Uh oh! Was he blindsided and left heartbroken? There’s no way he’s over that, and if he says he is, he’s either a liar or a sociopath.

No one is completely over their ex right after a breakup, and they shouldn’t be — it takes time to heal. If he says he’s over his ex and it’s only been a couple of weeks) he’s masking his pain and using you to help cover it up.

He mixes up the details of your relationship with his past relationship.

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If they just broke up but they’re still hanging out, you need to chuck up your deuces and go! I don’t care if their breakup was mutual (which it never is) — they shouldn’t be spending time together! And more importantly, you shouldn’t be with someone who can’t stop seeing their ex.

Think about it. Why would they want to hang out together right after a breakup? Obviously, because they still have feelings for one another! Go ahead and bow out of that relationship — let those two love birds find their way back to each other.